Published: July 03, 2008 11:59 am            

One stop shop: Will superstores add tattoo parlors and psychic services?

We have some strange conversations in the newspaper world sometimes. Those conversations sometimes lead me to thinking of strange ideas, which sound good to me, but probably no one else.

A case in point is the other day, as my editor was talking about a baseball player (I think) who had a nice tattoo of his name on his arm. I thought that was an interesting idea, but not because I’m into tattoos or body art.

I thought if someone who had their name tattooed on them somewhere were to ever suffer from amnesia, then they would at least have a head start in figuring out who they were. Instead of getting fingerprints for children, perhaps it would be better if we get their names on their arms. They could have the first name on their left arm and their last name on the other arm. Tattoos are an in thing for some folks, so one could even tattoo an address somewhere if they felt it would help.

Much like when a person gets the name of a significant other tattooed on their body, the address could be subject to change. The thought of needles effectively keeps me from ever entertaining the thoughts of getting a tattoo, and my arms aren’t exactly bulging with muscles. If I ever get amnesia though, I might wish I had gone ahead and gotten my name tattooed.

If I ever decide to get a tattoo, there are several shops around that will more than gladly help me with that endeavor. Tattoo shops, as far as I know, are primarily local businesses. You still can’t get a tattoo at a superstore. It might be one of the few things they don’t offer. Now, a person can buy groceries, check out what’s new in music, get their eyes checked, get a haircut, and buy a new outfit for Saturday night, all without leaving that one store.

I have to admit that a tattoo parlor doesn’t quite fit in with the superstore scheme of things. Where would they put it? Next to the eye doctor or near the shoes? Some Wal-Marts have a McDonald’s, so one could munch on a Big Mac with one hand while getting a tattoo on the other. It would be interesting to figure out what other slots superstores could fill. Sometimes when I shop, I wonder if I should buy something or not. Am I going to like this brand of Lean Pockets? Should I stick with the pizza kind?

A psychic could ease my worries, if superstores were to put one in their stores. Am I wasting my money on this CD? And I won’t even bother to start talking about what my love life holds and other things in the future. I’d be satisfied to know how traffic on U.S. 460 is looking when I leave.

A fellow in the community was telling me about an article he read in a magazine about people being sick of corporations, and in turn, superstores. My mind went back to the line from the movie “Network” and the character saying he was madder than down below and wasn’t going to take it anymore. The fellow I spoke with said people are sick of corporate America and how big business doesn’t care about the average person. I told him that $4 gas will do that to a person.

We might be turning back to supporting local businesses instead of superstores. Of course, that would mean we might have to drive a bit more, but sometimes personal service is better than a self check-out. Besides, they still don’t have tattoos in superstores, and I don’t think they will. But I’ll have to check with my psychic to see if I’m right.

Mark Blevins is a reporter for the Princeton Times. Contact him at mblevins@ptonline.net.

        

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