Published: May 29, 2009 11:22 am      

Family: The rock that stays steady through life

I have made it a point in this column to share with readers my fervent passion for the Appalachian region, where my heart has found it's true home. My connection to these hills seems more natural to me than anything I've ever felt for my native soil, and it has felt that way since the first day I stepped foot here. Still, as deep as my love for this place runs and as much as I feel like it is where I'm supposed to be, living 600 miles away from many of the people I love makes my trips back to my native Michigan seem all too brief and infrequent.

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to take one of those rare trips North, and as I have reflected upon it, I have come to realize the fantastic truth that visit revealed to me. The revelation I speak of has to do with family, those wonderful people who are by our side no matter what, standing strongest in the times when the rest of the world just doesn't have the time or the interest to lend us the helping hand we need. Their devotion to us is unconditional, in an era when such long-lasting and absolute commitment is a rarity, at best. And, I suppose it is that exact quality of steadfast dedication that I came to fully understand during my recent stay back home.

I know it's silly, probably, but since I moved away, I have had this nagging fear that my family is going to forget me, so to speak. Not that they wouldn't know me, but rather that I would become so out of the family loop that we would feel more like strangers than close relatives when we'd meet.

The presence of that invalidated fear made it all the sweeter when I drove into my family home earlier this month to find my youngest brother waiting eagerly on the porch to greet me. As he ran out to my car with a grin as wide as his cheeks could spread, I realized, once and for all, just how unbreakable the bond of family truly is. It seems that nothing, not disagreement, not jealousy, and no, not even a distance spanning nearly half the eastern United States countryside can sever the close-knit tie that links the members of a family.

I saw the invincibility of that bond of kin even clearer when it was time for yet another of those difficult goodbyes that seem to come much too quickly when we are with our relatives. I thought all of the words had been spoken as I walked towards the door, but then, my little brother stopped me. He's almost 13 and in that stage when sentimentality is all but a forbidden thing, so what he was about to say caught me entirely by surprise. He stood there for a minute, clearly in a bit of an awkward position. Then, with his eyes planted firmly on the floor, he said, “Goodbye…I love you.”

It sounds simple, perhaps, but I'm not sure when the last time was that my “manly” brother uttered those three words, to anyone. Certainly, though, it's been awhile. And, when I think about what inspired such an uncharacteristic expression, I have to believe that, like me, he was touched by the permanence of our relationship. Although our interaction throughout the past six months had been restricted to the wires of a telephone, we were instantly connected as closely as ever when we were together again.

As I stood there, trying to dam up a flood of emotion so I could respond to his words, it hit me. Family is family, no matter what. We don't have to fear that their love will suddenly disappear, or that its existence hinges upon our own behavior. In a world where it is extremely difficult to discern between the truth and the lies, and where it is nearly impossible to know in whom we can truly believe, that kind of indisputable and undying allegiance is both refreshing and reassuring.

The other day, on my drive home from work, I was unexpectedly treated to a beautiful display of nature. Only the green tips of the mountains could be seen, as the rest were covered in a hovering white cloud of fog and haze. While the sight was awe-inspiring, it was also comforting to know that, although the mountains were nearly invisible for a time, they were still there underneath, as immovable as ever, standing ready to protect us.

And, when you think about it, that's just what family is like. We can be temporarily separated by differences of opinion, or miles, or any number of other things. But, in the end, when the moment of truth arrives, it's our family that will undoubtedly emerge from the fog and haze of life to stand by our side and hold our hand. We probably forget this sometimes, or maybe just overlook it, but family is surely one of the very greatest gifts we have been given.

This month, three little heartfelt words taught me that I never have to question that gift again.

"The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family." - Lee Iacocca