by JAMIE PARSELL
Bluefield Daily Telegraph
Throughout this week, the fiancé has helped trace and cut out dozens of props for a bridal shower. We worked to the sound of Bruce Willis beating up the bad guys in “A Good Day to Die Hard.” During a pause in a gun fight, he asked, “Why are we doing this?” I tried to explain the tradition of bridal shower games. I went through each game, explaining the rules and proudly displaying the props — pink tiaras and black mustaches. The game consists of questions and answers. Guests try to match up the answers to either the bride or groom by raising a tiara or a mustache. One of my bridesmaids is putting together the game “Whose got the groom?” I thought about a newspaper wedding dress game, but decide friends and family might not like the transfer of ink on their clothes. Regardless of the new trends and Pinterest-inspired ideas, men still don’t “get” showers, gift registries and those hats made with ribbon and bows.
We received our first wedding gift this week. It was sitting on the porch when I came home from work. I didn’t really know it was a wedding gift until I opened the box. It was a sweet surprise after a long day at work. But it wasn’t the gift that put a smile on my face; it was the realization that the wedding was less than two months away. The fiancé put the gift in the dining room. Then asked, “What are you doing to do with all this stuff?” Happily, I said, “Organize the kitchen.” I have never been more excited to rearrange and organize a kitchen. The fiancé looked surprised at my excitement. I don’t blame him. I tried to tell him it was part of the transition from bride to wife. He said he was more organized. And unfortunately, he is right. We both like things a certain way too. He flips the cup up in the cabinet; I flip it upside down. In fact, I caught him flipping a cup the other day. Married life is going to be full of compromises, just like hot pink tiara crafts with action movies as background music.
The topic of compromise is going to be part of our pre-martial counseling. We had our first session last week and even had homework. We talked about our spiritual lives, finances and even our backgrounds. The topics will change from session to session. By now, most of the wedding planning is complete. The stress level has lessened, thanks for friends and family volunteering to take charge of certain wedding day tasks. I had heard my married friends talk about their experiences with counseling. One friend said to enjoy the discussions, even if you both have different opinions. I didn’t realize how right she was until we finished up our first assignment. The fiancé and I share a lot in common; our faith and morals are grounded together. But we are still two very different people and compromise is going to be an important part of our marriage. From the small things — he likes junk food and I like veggies — to the big moments in life concerning children, jobs and more. Five years from now, I will smile at the memory of all the wedding planning, the showers, the gifts and parties. I will especially laugh when I think about him cutting out tiaras like a child in a craft lesson. But I hope I always remember the importance lessons outlined during the pre-martial counseling sessions. Those lessons are worth more than a hundred crafty tiaras and mustaches.
Jamie Parsell is the Lifestyle editor of the Daily Telegraph. Contact her at jparsell@bdtonline or on Twitter @BDTParsell.