Published: March 14, 2008 02:32 pm            

Don't make me eat my vegetables

In a perfect world, I would eat fresh vegetables, fruit, protein and whole grains every day. I would be the epitome of health — a role model and maybe the spokesperson for all things leafy and green. Unfortunately, I like peanut butter and admit to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner at least three nights out of the week. And then there is that occasional battle with chocolate.

The other night as I sat down to dinner with my family, I looked at my plate and realized I had only a baked potato and corn. I glanced over at the stove and found brussels sprouts. I lingered at the stove, took a spoon and dished one out. “Why not?” I thought. I felt like taking a risk and plus, it was green and bound to be healthy. Plus, I like broccoli, cauliflower, corn, asparagus — a brussels sprout could not be that different.

Wrong. What was I thinking? At the first taste, my mind reeled and I looked frantically from side to side, weighing my options on how to get rid of the unpleasant taste in my mouth. I grabbed a napkin and well, I am sure you can finish the rest of the story.

I have decided that all vegetables are not created equal. At age 27, I thought my taste buds had matured into a more refined level with vegetables. Wrong again.

As a young child, I did eat my vegetables — everything except green beans. I still hate them and I cannot eat the first green bean no matter if Martha Stewart herself cooked and served them in my house.

Like most small children, I remember being forced to sit at the kitchen table until I ate my green beans. I felt sure that this was just a test of my personal willpower. Therefore, I set out to exceed all expectations — complete with an assortment of techniques that would have made Houdini proud.

One of my favorite tricks was to place the green bean in a napkin and crawl to the trash can. In order for this to work, I had to place the evidence underneath existing trash. Another trick, which I do not recommend for extremely small children, is to swallow the green bean without chewing and then chase it down with a drink of water, kool-aid, or orange pop. Quite dangerous, I know. But I succeeded in not actually tasting the offending vegetable. Just be sure that someone in your house knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver.

I have never gotten over my dislike for green beans. I can’t explain why or how this hatred came about. But I do know that I would do just about anything to avoid them.

As a young adult, I have come across green beans in social settings, which requires a delicate touch. Do you say “no thanks” when someone offers up a heaping spoonful? Do you plaster a smile on your face even though your want to scrunch up your face and say “ew?” Maybe you accept and politely move them around on the plate. My favorite technique is to completely pass the beans up and if asked say, “Oh, I must have missed those!”

Throughout the years, I have learned to love spinach, sweet potatoes, Thousand Island dressing and a host of other foods that I would not touch as a kid. But as I sat at my kitchen table, staring at my mom and dad, silently wishing I had never tried to eat a brussels sprout — it all rushed back to me. No matter how old I get, some vegetables will never move off of the gross list.

And I am sure that you will agree that there are just some foods that will never grace the kitchen table — regardless of the healthy benefits. To all those who have a strong relationship with green beans and brussels sprouts, I apologize. Seriously. I mean it. I still can’t believe I ate that brussels sprout.

Jamie Parsell is the Lifestyle editor at the Bluefield Daily Telegraph. Contact her at jparsell@bdtonline.com.

        

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