DEAR ABBY: My wife died on my birthday a few years back. It was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me, and my birthday has been depressing since.
Every year, people continue to send cards and gifts, wishing me a happy birthday. All I want to do on that miserable day is get through it. It will never be “happy” for me again. Ever.
I don’t want to be nasty to these well-meaning people, but I really do want them to stop. How can I convey that my birthday is not a happy occasion anymore? — PARTY POOPER IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR PARTY POOPER: I am sorry for your loss. A way to ensure your message gets across would be to write or call these well-meaning individuals, thank them for their good wishes and tell them exactly what you have written to me. I think you expressed it very well.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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