Published: November 05, 2009 03:49 pm      

Indulge in moderation

The two girls walked purposefully into the salon and began the routine of looking for their preferred nail polish color. One marched to the pedicure massage chair and took her rightful place.

“Do you want a manicure and pedicure?” she was asked.

“Yes!” she said without hesitation. “Both.”

She was asked if she wanted hand painted designs on her nails.

“Yes!” she answered, tossing her blonde hair. “And on my toenails, too.”

The girl was maybe 8 years old.

It was evident, despite her tender age, she felt entitled to regularly scheduled spa treatments. “What will she do in the future for a birthday or a dance that will be special?” I thought to myself.

The age of entitlement has been driving our culture and economy for years. According to a 2003 study by Harris Interactive’s YouthPulse Service, children and young people ages 8-21 wield $172 billion in annual spending power. Kids ages 13-19 spend at the greatest rate — $94.7 billion annually.

Several million dollars of those expenditures can be seen on so-called “reality” shows, such as “Teen Cribs” and “My Super Sweet 16.” (I don’t personally know anyone whose reality looks like these shows.) Both of the TV shows give a peak into the ultra-privileged homes and lives of teens born with a silver iPod in their pocket.

On a recent episode of “Teen Cribs,” two brothers, 15 and 18, gave a tour of their parent’s home, featuring a backyard designed like a luxury resort — decked out with a tennis court/basketball court, a putting green, a pool with underwater stools and dining area, an 8-10 person hot tub overlooking the ocean, and about 100 feet of private beach. The parents, who appeared to be surprisingly reasonable people, said they wanted their home to be a place where the sons chose to hang out with their friends. Judging by the number of teens grilling steaks and swimming in the pool, they succeeded.

On an episode of “My Super Sweet 16,” a young teen arrived with a motorcycle police escort to her birthday party for hundreds at an L.A. nightclub. The event featured a fashion show of her debuting clothing line and a concert by the Pussy Cat Dolls. The finale was the unveiling of two new sets of wheels personalized with her name, a Range Rover and a convertible Thunderbird.

Do we have to build resorts in our backyards to entertain our sons or drown our daughters in a lifetime of luxury in one night to make them happy? Obviously not. Most teens are pretty happy with a DVD and a pizza.

And most of us parents can’t relate to the extreme wealth displayed on these TV shows. But I found myself thinking about the teens as I did the little girl in the salon: What will they have to look forward to? An inheritance sometimes robs a child of the opportunity to gain the richest life experience: accomplishing something for themselves.

These parents may think they are setting up their children for success, but they may be paving a path to personal failure instead. These teens may gain the world’s pleasures but lose the discovery of their soul-enriching independence.

Spoiling doesn’t always result in spoiled kids. Some children and teens may genuinely appreciate their lavish lifestyles and, simply put, be really good people. But others may become poisoned by their parents’ lack of fiscal prudence. A sense of entitlement can lead to greed, which may result in the insatiable hunger for wealth we’ve seen undermine our whole economy.

There are many other aspects of modern culture that are severely harming our children and their future such as poverty, abuse and neglect. But we can also harm our children with poverty of decorum and modesty, abuse of our wealth and affluence, and neglect of standard “rules of civility and decent behavior.”

While we parents have bought McMansions we couldn’t well afford, we’ve shopped with Billy and Susie for clothes and electronics they didn’t need or earn. Over the last few years, many parents have had to say “no” more often to their children because they couldn’t afford to say “yes” anymore. Although, we are seeing signs of an economic rebound, I hope some cutbacks continue — that we budget our indulgences and curtail the entitlement.

If we curb our spoil-spending, we may teach our children greater appreciation for what they have and they may be enriched by a concept new to their generation: moderation. We may build in them a wealth of character by encouraging them to sometimes deny themselves and, instead, give to those with less.

Jaletta Albright Desmond is a self-syndicated columnist who writes about faith, family and the fascinatingly mundane aspects of daily life. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and two daughters. Contact her at jdesmond@bdtonline.com.