Published: September 30, 2009 05:42 pm      

Wildlife conspiracy? Deer seem intent on driving motorists out of W.Va.

Sometimes I wonder if West Virginia’s deer have a secret plan to drive humans from the Mountain State. I picture them convening in the dead of night to map out strategy and see who’s going to be the next hero to jump in front of a speeding vehicle. I’ve had near misses with deer, and each time I swear the buck or doe was lying in wait, getting ready to spring from cover and ambush an unsuspecting driver.

My suspicions started years ago after I woke up the morning after a music festival in Pipestem. I was driving toward Princeton and breakfast when suddenly there’s a buck running alongside me. Naturally, I tapped the brakes and slowed down, but that buck stayed in formation. It was trying to get in front of me! I hit the gas and darted ahead of it.

I know deer aren’t suppose to be the brightest animals in the woods, but that incident had a bit of calculation behind it. That buck had a death wish. My suspicions were aroused again years later when I was driving up I-77 near Camp Creek.

Cars filled the lanes, but a doe just walked out in front of the ongoing hoard. The day was sunny and the cars were loud, but this animal seemed oblivious to all that metal. It sauntered into the highway and the traffic rippled as brakes were hit. I managed to miss it. Seconds later, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw an SUV just brush the doe. Only then did it seem to notice the cars.

Did that doe have a mission to set off a pile up? I couldn’t help but wonder.

Of course, I’m probably letting conspiracy theories get the best of me. About a million deer are roaming the mountains, so the odds of them and our millions of vehicles colliding are pretty good. When mating season arrives, the numbers of bucks looking for love goes up, so they’re more likely to get into an SUV’s path.

Worse, this meeting of deer and steel is more likely to happen in West Virginia. For three years in a row, a study by State Farm Insurance showed that West Virginia’s drivers are more likely to hit deer than any other drivers in the nation. Each West Virginian climbing behind the wheel has a one in 39 chance to bag a deer without firing a shot.

This means if you get 39 of West Virginia’s drivers together and they all take off for a road trip across the state, one of them is probably going to give a body shop some work. Worse, that unlucky one in 39 might get a trip to the hospital, too. Hitting an animal weighing 100 pounds or more does a lot of damage.

The states on our borders aren’t much better off. Virginia ranks 10th for deer collisions and Pennsylvania ranks third. Michigan, Iowa and Montana completed the top five states.

Hawaii had the lowest number of collisions with a chance of one in 9,931. I was surprised to learn deer were in Hawaii. And I wondered if Hawaiian venison tastes like pineapple.

All we can do in West Virginia is stay alert, especially when those deer crossing signs or deer themselves come into view. I always try to slow down a little when I see deer grazing along the highway or in nearby meadows. One could easily dart into your path. Even if there’s not great conspiracy, individual bucks and does rush into oncoming traffic instead of doing the sensible thing, like stopping and waiting for the cars to go by. I actually saw this one night near the toll booths at Flat Top. A deer suddenly appeared along the highway as I approached the booths. If it had stepped onto the pavement, there would have been absolutely nothing I could have done aside from hitting the brakes. Fortunately, the buck just stood there as I passed by. Maybe a previous brush with death had taught it to look both ways before crossing the highway.

Unfortunately, not all motorists are going to be so lucky. You have to stay alert when there is a chance that deer are lurking nearby.

Dodging is not always easy; you have to keep the vehicles around you in mind. You could dodge a buck only to hit another car. You could also go off the road and hit a tree or light pole, leaving your car wrecked and you battered as the deer calmly goes on its way.

Like it or not, our cars have to share the same space used by deer and other wildlife. With caution and some extra watchfulness, we can avoid collisions and keep the highways safe for humans and deer alike.

Greg Jordan is a reporter for the Daily Telegraph. Contact him at gjordan@bdtonline.com.